Survival - Now A Special Interest Issue

• policy
• idiotswithopinions
• globalwarming

The US Environmental Protection Agency determined in April that greenhouse gases 'pose dangers to public health and welfare' — which makes them sound more like a drinking problem, but OK. Step in right direction. Now the EPA will be able to start taking steps to regulate such gases. Finally, I hear you cry. But wait — the nature-lovin', deer-squashin' Republican party have produced a memo which shows that not letting manufacturers pump whatever they damn well like into the atmosphere may harm their profits. And we're in a recession. And the hippies at the EPA knew this when they decided to tie the small businessman's coal-covered hands with red tape!1 The Republicans are pissed.

The almost unfeasible idea of sacrificing profits now for the sake of something more important, like the future, has been called "a decision [...] to put special-interests ahead of middle-class families and small businesses struggling in the recession" by John Boehner, a Republican Congressman from Ohio. Since when was not wanting to drown in flash floods, be made homeless or be stabbed to death over the last potato a "special interest"?

The Republican party as a whole also picked fault with the justification for how greenhouse gases endanger human health and welfare, since the gases in and of themseves are not dangerous to humans2. By the same logic, I guess knives are not in and of themselves dangerous — it's the large gaping holes that appear in your body after a close encounter with one that cause you harm.

Finally, the memo was accused of being 'too negative'. Representatives pointed out that in the very same report the EPA used to justify all the negative consequences of climate change, there was also mention of some good things about climate change! For example, the EPA failed to take into account the warmer winters Alaska is predicted to experience. Who could mind a bit of friendy looting by the desperate and dispossessed when Sarah Palin can show a little more flesh in December?

The incredible Congressman Boehner summed up his party's objections in the following statement: "Republicans want to work with the Administration to promote clean air, clean water, and a healthy environment, but our primary responsibility must be to first do no harm to struggling families and small businesses." The question of how you're supposed to maintain purchasing power in the absence of clean air, clean water and a healthy environment is not addressed.

But unfortunately the Republicans are not alone. Governments everywhere are making small cuts and token gestures instead of the utter sea-change we need to continue living in the style to which we Westerners have become — and the rest of the world would like to become — accustomed, and justifying it in terms of economic cost. Waiting until a more opportune time just will not cut it. Not only will that time never come, but you can't negotiate rates with the environment. When we've pumped enough pollution into the skies, change will take hold.

However, even set in the context of his contemporaries, Congressman Boehner is a bit of a dick.

1. Biodegradable tape, natch. ←

2. Unless you're sealed in an airtight room, and even than it's not the excess carbon dioxide that kills you, it's the lack of oxygen. ←