Schrödinger's Kitten
Irreverent Science for Everyone
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Lies, Misinformation and Jeremy Clarkson
A lot of people (mainly car drivers and lovers) have gleefully told me about the 'test' conducted on Top Gear which 'showed the Prius (a hybrid eco-car) wasn't that fuel efficient'. In case you haven't seen it, the clip can be watched here, unless it's been taken down by the BBC (the kitten accepts no responsibility for objects thrown at screen in an attempt to silence Jeremy Clarkson).
Why We Should Stop Using Fossil Fuels – Even If Global Warming Wasn't Happening (which it is, by the way)
Fossil fuels are what's left of ancient (dinosaur-type era) living things, crushed and simmered deep in the Earth for millions of years as more and more layers of mud covered their bodies. As the mud turned to rock, the organic matter turned into a rich soup of molecules called hydrocarbons. Then some hairless monkeys started digging it out, and found that it burnt real good. They called this hydrocarbon-rich material coal if it was solid, crude oil if it was liquid, or natural gas. And they burnt it, and it produced a lot of energy, more energy than anything the monkeys had burnt so far. It was really light for the amount of energy it had in it, too, so you could take a bottle or a lump of it with you and use it for transport without it weighing you down. And the monkeys used more and more of it for more and more things — oil could be turned into waterproof, mouldable, lightweight materials, which were just great for making disposable beverage containers and costume jewellery.
Why Are We Fat?
It turns out there are possibly scientific excuses — sorry, reasons — why I, along with most of the Western world, according to well-meaning TV chefs and hysterical headlines, am plump. The blame for this is usually laid at the feet of unhealthy food and increasingly sedentary hobbies (such as browsing websites, you porky reader you).
A number of the excessively sanctimonious seem to blame the growing tidal wave of blubber on fast food, which is apparently only consumed by people lacking in education (and, one assumes, impulse control). Of course, nobody with a high-class education (which presumably includes simple biology) would ever eat pie 'n chips. They'd eat foie gras.
Global Warming
I believe in global warming enough to lie awake at night fearing what will happen when it comes (because I, unlike most of our 'leaders', am young enough that I will see the results). A lot of people do not believe in global warming, or believe in it but are sufficiently optimistic to not worry like I do. This is nice for them, I guess. If you are one of those sort of people, I'm afraid I'm writing this to try and convince you otherwise. I think we need everyone together on this one. You can write to me in return if you like.
Manifesto
The world is filled with people who know next to nothing about human discovery in the last 3000 years. We might as well be living in the middle ages, were it not for the tinny beeps of mobile phones. They're quick enough to use the technology, but understanding why it works is pointless, and even if you did try, it'd be impossible. Engines are fine, but engineers aren't.