We all know that the only way to understand our innermost nature better is not in fact psychotherapy, meditation or a bold and fearless examination of your innermost self, but to take many, many tests on The Internets in order to find out which noun we are. But usually, these tests lack scientific rigour. This personality quiz attempts to fill the gap by connecting you to an archetypal building block of the universe, which must be way more scientific and accurate than a Sex and the City character.
(Note: This quiz works with Firefox and Safari on both Windows and Mac, and probably Opera too tho we haven't actually checked it, but it doesn't work on Internet Explorer, cuz it's poo.1)
At a party, you:
Your favourite colour is:
Your favourite activity is:
Your appearance is:
Stranded on a desert island, you would need:
Describe your name:
You have yet to answer any questions.
Photo credit: EstoyCansado
Named by the famously curmudgeonly Murry Gell-Mann, derived from Joyce's modernist ramblings, you've overcome your bohemian beginning to become — how do I put this? — a joiner.
Never seen alone, you probably don't even realise that that can be considered a bad thing. You're damn well adjusted, stable, the building blocks of the world as we know it. Available in a natty selection of red, blue or green, you constantly exchange gluons with other quarks, keeping you all updated on each other's movements, binding you together in a sticky web of sociability. On the other hand, noone could call you exclusive: you'll couple to anything, including photons, leptons, and probably even the blubberball Higgs.
Photo credit: ojbyrne
You were rudely brought into existence by Wolfgang Pauli to keep conservation of energy working. The 'Little Neutral Thing' as he jokingly named you, was finally discovered bathing in a giant tanker of dry-cleaning fluid, and joined the ranks of the sub-atomic family. Despite your major contributions to the Standard Model of Particle Physics, you've always felt you didn't get the respect you deserved, and so have nursed a grudge for almost fifty years. Rather standoffish, noone knows your real nature. This isn't helped by your Multiple Personality Disorder, which causes you to oscillate between generations of your self-constructed family. You only couple with left-handers.
You're pretty messed up, I have to say.
Abstruse, obese and highly sought-after, your millionaire lifestyle is envied by others. Many people even define their own existence based on catching news of you. Every newspaper in the world is eagerly following your appearance schedule, and yet you still manage to avoid being caught on camera. It's impressive, I grant you.
Some call you god and speculate that you're crucial to the smooth running of the universe. Me, I think that's a slight exaggeration and it's only feeding your superiority complex. After all, you're only hypothetical, and there are other particle models which don't need you as a fixer. You're not irreplaceable. But I'd still like to meet you sometime.
Photo credit: SimonSmith001
From a middle class family, with a sensible, short name, you've made a career out of being an outsider — too light to be a hadron, too bent to be an electron.
Adopting a rock star lifestyle once you got the momentum to leave the unfashionable galactic suburbs where you grew up, you believe in living fast and dying young. The only reason we witness you at all is your relativistic effects pedals and a giant marketing machine passing on your hype quicker than you can travel yourself. You're particularly popular among particle physicists, who have photos of you all over their walls.
Hate to be the one to tell you this, but your two-piece ('muonium'? gotta love that modesty) is pretty generic. Sounds a lot like traditional lightweight duos.
1. I wholeheartedly believe IE is poo due to ineptitude on the part of the creators and not malice in any way, which is why they don't want to sue me. ←